Thursday, July 11, 2013

What does the Heman/She-RA Xmas special teach?


"So what does The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special teach us?
• If your birthday is near Christmas, you're only getting one party and one set of presents, even if you're born on a completely pagan planet like Eternia.
• If you're a kid and your parents allow you to go into the woods, unsupervised, to cut down your own Christmas tree, it's because they hate you.
• Getting into a stranger's van? Bad. Getting into a stranger's spaceship? Totally fine.
• Alien cultures are probably not going to be that excited to hear about Jesus.
• If there's a creature called a Beast Monster on your planet, it's because someone, somewhere, did not give a shit.
• Transformers are the toys of Satan. Buy only Masters of the Universe action figures from Mattel, kids!
• Do not let foreign people compose Christmas songs. It never ends well.
• You will do a lot of unusual things if someone is licking you.
• Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, you still have the Christmas spirit in you, TAKE THAT, JEWS.
• The fact that the original draft of this review was 3000 words means that I care far, far more about the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special than any sane person ever should."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Did you write this? Or is it someone elses thoughts.

Quotes

At a certain stage the realization strikes through that one must either live outside of society's bonds or die of absolute boredom. There is no future or freedom in the circumscribed life and the only other life is complete rejection of the rules. There is no longer room for the soldier of fortune or the gentleman adventurer who can live both within and outside of society. Today it is all or nothing. To save my own sanity I chose the nothing.

-James Bolivar DiGriz